Yearender

How do you end a year with a bang? Perfectly…

This may be one of the worst years God ever made. Yet I think twice to sink in regrets.

Exactly last year, I had my ear glued to my cellphone, paying attention to every utterance – utterance of which I never really thought would welter to its own conclusion. You can’t have everything. No matter how coveting you become.

This year, I lived too ambitiously. Needless to say, I left many people hanging… I left two people hanging. Because of that, I suffered a terrible loss, one that was unforeseen and life-taking in a frolicsome way.
It was only later that I realized I was breaking for the wrong heart, in the wrong hands. Indeed, it was too late.

Debate and Writing – two of my greatest passions. I obtained them both, and yet each day I wake up with a wet pillow and a hollow soul. Yearning for solitude that can never suffice for my real need. Yet in a trail which chooses career over somber matters, you have to live by rules and definitions.
And after four years of forgetting a lost love, I find myself back to square one. Once more, sheltering a cold and fearsome heart, and again, counting fact per fact.
Fact is, she has you. Reality is, you love her.
Truth is, I can’t forget you. (Just read through the lines.)

Burdens are indispensable, yet weightless just the same. I think of After Eden and how it was written without Arnold (the author) knowing me. When I watch fireworks light the sky, I still favor the starless, black-mantled lone, perhaps for as long as we’re underneath its sanctity.

Now, 2005 says goodbye. Atleast it does, because I still can’t word my farewell. Yet I turn my back to every spitback, to every indirect sting and to every unseen star. I hope that the year ahead, would be a chance for me to reunite with my high school barkada, for I honestly am missing them badly.
Another year for my Tensed sisters and I to look forward to more sleepovers, more get-together’s, and more food trips.
Another year for more debate tournaments and more journal(CSJ) published works.
Another year, welcoming nights with a Biology textbook on one hand and a cup of steaming caffeine on the other.
Another year with and without you.

So how do I bid 2005, a year of dramedy?
Nah.
Just join me in drinking this bottle of beer.