I'm dreadfully bored, due to a non-academic and eventless day. I've been lying in bed for almost 12 hours to kill time. I've watched 2 mind-numbing movies, the whole series of America's Next Top Model Cycle 5, and have only paused for peanut breaks (that's me, munching on my grandfather's stocked peanuts).
Imagine how much worse my life could possibly get if I do not get enrolled this sem. There's only a 5% chance that I'd still be seeing my blockmates this June. Otherwise, I'd have to prepare my farewell to debate, to the journal and to the only sensible space in my life.
Yes, I gotta love the drama right now. I am listening to Utada Hikaru's Final Distance by the way, and to Weiss Kruz' anime soundtrack.
***
I was thinking of making another blog -- either another one here in Blogger for my poems and prose, or in LJ to formally move my posts there. But. I've gradually learned to love my template and moderation here. Maybe I'll just content myself without any friends (online) to share my idiosyncratic remarks.
Yesterday, I had a conversation through text with one of my closest friends in UST. She just broke up with her boyfriend and has plans of studying in her province instead. See where love can mislead you sometimes. But I talked her into giving the idea more thought, since, after all, her problem is not really much of a pain considering what I'm going through right now.
And I must be horifically anesthetized about everything since I still find reasons to smile once in a while and think about the good stuff that I still have with me. Hrmm, like a few scratches of my debate notes from AUDC and my undelivered poems for CSJ's next ish.
You just have to believe sometimes, that God never puts you into a position He knows you wouldn't be able to handle or, for the lack of a better term, come out alive from.
Atleast, I'm here and I've got the air in my lungs (got that from Titanic).
But soon enough, I know that if I do not get this chance, I would soon become a social deviant and would have to live in a drab and desolate life afterwards. Just because I'm no longer the same kind of person I came in the institution before.
And well, that would mostly be the sucky part of everything else.
This is me thinking why I've always thought I was a pessimist.
Now that stupid hope is 80% of what makes me continue to move on.
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3 comments:
you dig utada hikaru too? my sister and I love her songs... i think her new album is out na :) whatever you're going through mavs, it can't be as bad as not having any limbs (you have so much to offer with your writing talent :) ). tandaan mo lang "Each of us has our own burdens… but didn’t they say in Days with the Lord that God won’t give us something which we can’t handle? I believe that God equips us with the ability to deal with our problems in the right way. I think that with our faith in Him, we can be always strong. And I also believe that every problem we encounter is only bound to make us stronger in one way or the other. We are for Jess. So we have to be strong." So be strong mavy!
who doesn't love hikki? :)
i especially love first love, hikari and final distance. her voice floats but drops like an anvil on your heart.
new album? i hope it's not too english. not that she's bad at it, i just didn't quite like the exodus album. i mean, i loved her when she was singing japanese, so i'd rather she remain that way.
although her "with or without you" rendition... was wow, it made me drool.
thanks for the advice. :)
This is my first visit here, but I will be back soon, because I really like the way you are writing, it is so simple and honest
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